Long Live Seraikistan
Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

I should make it perfectly clear that I have been quoted out of context. When I supported a division into smaller parts to redress the raging sense of injustice among the masses, I did not mean my leader and mentor, Pervez Musharraf.

I am against the hanging and quartering of the former president. I support the division of Punjab into smaller, more manageable parts, where former political stooges can be provided a safe haven, to lick the wounds inflicted on them by the ungrateful voters. Where they can be provided succour and be nursed to health by the loving hand of the sensitive agencies, so that when the nation is in need of another interim 90 day government, they can call upon these responsible and selfless citizens. Sensitive agencies for sensitive souls.

I am a peaceful political activist and believe in non violent means of political expression. This was amply demonstrated during my tenure as the information minister, when I carefully nurtured the ministry as it produced the NEPRA regulations. I demonstrated my commitment to freedom of expression by pulling the plug on the TV channels when they were falling prey to sensationalism. I bore with fortitude the scurrilous attacks of the media; when they responded to the cracking open of the journalists’ skulls.

Even before that, smaller provinces have looked up to my leadership, as a shining beacon of hope. It was my government which ensured that the Baluch get their rights after we slaughtered Nawab Bugti. As an act of human kindness and in the best traditions of a responsible government, we retrieved his reading glasses and gave him a dignified burial. This has gone a long way in putting balm on the wounds of the Baluch. This has turned the Baluch Nationalists into great devotees of federalism. They are beseeching the Chinese to take over Sandak and Singaporeans to come and occupy Gawadar. They are also vacating Dera Bugti, in the larger national interest, so that the Pakistan Army can establish a cantonment there. The Baluchis, meanwhile will retire to the relaxing pastime of tending their camels.

Jamaat e Islami is out of touch. Imran Khan does not understand. In politics, one has to move forward; otherwise one is destined to remain permanently in the opposition. In the opposition it is hard to serve the nation. You don’t get a motorbike escort. Your do not get an armour plated Mercedes, with bomb jammers. These are the basic needs of an emerging democracy and fundamentals of modern civilisation.

Look at my self sacrifice. I am going to the same media that attacked me, to plead the case of the poor of the South Punjab. These poor of course did not exist during the 8 years of our government. They have emerged because of the disastrous policies of this government. They have found a voice in me. A voice that is powerful. A voice that is fearless. A voice that will not be silenced, till they get a province or till I get a ministry, whichever comes first.

South Punjab Zindabad